Psalm 139

I found out some news tonight that shook me to my core. News that I wasn't expecting. News that reminded me of the reality of being involved in the lives of orphans.

Thankfully the Lord uses news like this to bring me back to my knees. (why did I ever stand up anyway?) Thankfully the Lord fills my mind with the truth of His word when all I want to do is scream WHY.

He created her. HE is her Father. He has hemmed her in behind and before. He is there WITH her, wherever that may be. Her frame is not hidden from Him. All her days were ordained before one of them came to be, as were mine. He knows what's best. He knows where she needs to be. HE is faithful. HE is good. HE is the one I can trust. HE is the one we can turn to.

You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand — when I awake, I am still with you. If only you, God, would slay the wicked! Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty! They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name. Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord, and abhor those who are in rebellion against you? I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies. Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.

spread your wings and fly little lady.

Praying for you and your grandma. 

Grateful that the Lord allowed our paths to cross.

You will never know the impact that the time I spent with you had on my heart.

I pray that you will know Jesus completely.

That you will trust Him fully and serve Him whole-heartedly.

(once again, it's safe to say that everything has changed.)